Friday, June 22, 2007


I wanted to write a story
But it turned ugly
I thought real hard
But I just couldn’t make it click
I believed in happy endings
But just cant seem to concoct one for now!!
Am I losing what I held so precious??
I don’t believe in my own smile any more
One after the other the pins start falling
And what gets me is that no one is even rolling!!
My NOT being tired scares me a bit
I wish I could just be…
“Why” is something I have taught myself not to ask
And I have taught myself not to mull
There is only a trudging on
Only a senseless, random flight
There is an “I don’t care” toss of head
And I go right at it again!!!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

wot els!?!

tis nt dat he duznt try
jst dat its a dogs wrld
n he duznt knw da rulez...
he fights lyk a man..
den tries 2 fite lyk a dog..
n gets so confuzd..
ends up lukin lyk a fool dat hez nt!!!

he duznt knw hw 2 giv up
a fytr he z,n dat he ll remain...
he gtz lickd mst f da tymz
bt he jst lickz hz woundz n gtz up again!!

caught hopelessly in dis web
of wud ve n cud ve beenz...
f selfrighteous rage n anger
n den again,f self hatred,f self loathin he feelz!!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

rambling on....

ppl i need help...i ve jst discovered dat i ve dis infuriatin habbit of day dreamin rt in da middl of my semester xamz!!!!it started harmlessly enuf...durin da sessionals..i hd hd a bad break up..n i dint knw a word of da subjz in any i ended up ponderin ovr da meanin of life durin dose peaceful wz time fo myself...but nw it hz becum a very real problem..ok granted..i hardly know anythin in da xamz evn nw..but i knw i cud atleast try attemptin more qz if i concentrated...
but oh dese thots n dreams...dey just wont stop!!!
n bout dese 1st dey wr jst ramblings...bout nature of life...hw unfair life wz...den hw FAIR life wz...den hw it wz ME whu cud make my life fair or unfair...m stickin by da last option z of nw...(like sum1 sed...til da camera changez!!!)now i want to mk more of my life...have had enuf of just freakin out n roamin arnd n chatterin away n meanin wel fo evry1 in da da xamz!!!) i want 2 do sum quality out in sum ngo...regular hrz...i know of a few...but its nt just dat..i wil take up sketchin again...i know i wz gud,but left it in da middl 2 join CAT coachin...a comp course...shaily se guitar classes resume karni hain...oh wait...i ve 2 clean ma room 2!!!! :)
n i want 2 learn 2 say no!!!!!!i ve to stop tryin 2 b evrythin evry1 wants me 2 b...u know wot??i think i identify wid sumthin or da othr in evrybody!!!n so i try 2 fit in2 deir idea of me...killin my identity in da process...i go 2 much by wot certain ppl think of me...its not dat i dnt ve a mind of my own...just dat i dont share my mind dat easy...or i camouflage it,paint it a lil rosy,to suite da othr personz sensibilties...cant help it!!!i keep da real stuf 2 myself...da opinions...m nt judgemental by nature...i alwyz try 2 find sum rational reason fr wotevr sum1z duin...i strictly believ dat dere z no absolute evil...just ppl whu giv in easily 2 sum temptations n pleasures...nw i alwyz try 2 reason y dose temptations r imp 2 dese ppl...ok here i think v r digressin frm da topic...oh wait...dere wz no topic to start wid!!!!lol!!!
tomz a tuff xam!!!!so wil tel u wot new thots flitted by!!! ;)
luv al!!!